Still Waiting

What do you think about when you're lying in bed at night?

Watching the shadows playing across the walls... what thoughts are running through your mind?

Lately, I've just been laying there with my eyes wide open, listening to the easy rise and fall of his breathing.

Watching the shadows race across the ceiling, listening to crazy possums having a party on my ceiling.

Thinking about everything that was, that could be, that might have been, that will be.

Thinking of how I went wrong in my life. Wincing at all the wrong moves I made.

Silently cursing and inwardly praying that everything will be alright again.

Counting puppies... (much cuter than sheep).

Repeating Buddhist mantras silently in my head...

Thinking thinking...

Time ticks away... tick tock tick tock...

Before you know it, you've been in the same position for the last 2 hours.

Night after night.

Day after day.

Nothing has changed.

Yet...